Were you surprised that Sahl did not reflect more on her emotions as she told her story?

Were you surprised that Sahl did not reflect more on her emotions as she told her story? Why or why not?

Yes, I was surprised that she didn’t reflect more on her emotions. Sometimes I felt at times she expressed some things factually or just flat (not engaging). I wished shed had reflected more, because I didn’t like that style of writing. But she never lingered much on the past so she could move forward; that was her survival skill.

I think reflecting on the events, as TonyiaR mentioned above, would have added a deeper layer to the story of Sahl's life. I know so little about Somalia. While I think the author provided an excellent history of its successes and trials and tribulations, I always enjoy more personal reactions, thoughts, feelings, and interpretation. That being said, living through many of the events of her life was probably extremely painful the first time. Sahl's writing style allowed her to document what happened in her life, while at the same time protecting herself from completely revisiting the trauma by delving deeper on the pages.

Not particularly. One of the strengths of Salh's writing is that is is very good at just putting the reader in her place and letting the reader's own responses reflect the emotions. That does not mean she didn't suffer during the various traumas, just that telling us how much she suffered would not have allowed us to suffer with her and would, in the end, dilute the power of the story.

This is an excellent point, carolt! One of the reasons I liked the book so much was due to the fact that it made me feel so much.

I do feel that Salh expressed some intense emotions throughout the book, albeit it in a subtle manner relative to what the Western reader might be accustomed. I wondered if the degree with which Salh shared or did not share emotions in the book was a reflection of how she was raised and/or because of the futility of emotion to change the outcome (and sometimes it was even detrimental to taking action) - both things that played out in her life and therefore, on the pages of the book. For example, with regards to the FGM procedure she wrote that her emotions were influenced by “ancestral pride” and that she would not disrespect her grandmother’s legacy by showing fear (page 93). Or at the orphanage she said she finally stopped crying when she realized it wouldn’t change anything and only then she could adjust (page 110).

I agree with point carolt made and I feel that the reader understood and felt more part of Salh's life story, Sometimes if a story is too emotional I just feel the emotions not the entire story.

I agree with carolt, regarding emotions. The author at times expressed her fustrations to her various living situations.

I thought she clarified her memories with her explanations of the acceptance that was woven into her early life. Her vivid recollection of her early years is amazing. I was touched, though, that she could not recall her mother's face, and the efforts she tried to find a photo.

At the time I was not surprised because I almost felt as if I were with her. When she escaped from her brutal cousin in Canada, I felt relief that she was finally taking charge of her life. However, in the chapter concerning female genital mutilation, when she said to her grandmother not to worry that she would not run and her composure when she saw the bird fly away with her clitoris, I realized I wasn't breathing. I thought, "Is this a young child actually remembering the surgery or her memory tricking her into that stoicism and resilience that she always possessed?'

Not really. Wonder if her emotions might have taken over her desire to share the facts of her life. And would readers have gotten lost in those emotions and read the story differently. She did share happy, sad, scared, frustrated and angry emotions but didn't take over.

I am not surprised at all that Salh did not reflect on her emotions much throughout the story. She certainly told us when she was angry or scared but I think reflecting on emotions is a luxury. When you are in survival mode I don't believe you wonder about the emotions of an event but rather just want to get through it as best you can. I'm sure (in fact she mentions this) that she has seen a therapist to work through some of the difficult events she encountered and the emotions which may have appeared after the events.

As mentioned above, I too believe that Salh let her readers emote for her.

I was not surprised. It was not to feel, but to endure. I have been told that as an infant, instinct instill humans to fight or flee, unable to do either, I developed the survival reaction to freeze....sometimes that's all you can do.

I was surprised that Sahi did not reflect more on her emotions but was releaved. So many memoirs I have read lately, those written by American born and bred authors, only seem to reflect on their emotions and poor me, no one loved me, understood me, I had to suffer, Sahi instead didn't see any of that in her childhood. This was life brings and must be endured according to tradition and her family and this is who I am now because of it.

This has been such a good question to reflect upon. I think you are correct, mariont. A lot of memoirs are written as a way for the authors to unpack their feelings about their lives. Sahl honored the nomadic tradition of storytelling by focusing on the “events” rather than her reactions to them.

As folks mentioned above, I preferred the way she chose to tell her story. A true storytelling of the events that shaped her life. And yes, there were so many moments when I was the one feeling all the emotions! As to why she chose not to get too emotional, I suppose it has to do with her culture (being strong/resilient/quiet) as well as her nomadic storytelling ways.

So much of this book is exploring things that are counter to our Western Culture and to the world where Sahl now lives, that I think if she gave herself into the emotion of it, rather than telling the story and letting the reader experience it, we would not be able to even lift the book. What emotions would we expect?

I thought Shugri Salh used controlled emotions quite appropriately as she learned to veer away from dangerous positions. When her father beat her, she learned to be a better student to avoid his beatings. When she speaks about alliances at the orphanage, she is very emotional.

So many of the incidents that Shugri relayed matter-of-factly in her story induced strong emotions in me! At times I felt that she was much too flat (when speaking about her rather horrible father) and other incidents I won't spoil. At times it made the book seem much too tame for what she was relaying.

I also agree with carolt and others that the author's writing style allows readers to engage in the story and experience their own level of emotional response to the circumstances described. One beautiful example of emotion can be found on page 63 when the author writes, "I desperately want to retrieve the image of my mother's face, but it is buried so deep beneath trauma, loss, and time that I can't access it even if I try my hardest." As a reader who recently lost a parent that sentence is heart wrenching.